Mirrors Blade Tear

Mirrors Blade Tear

Mirrors Blade Tear
Plz rate my work.......?

I wrote this yesterday, just wondering what you guys think of it?

Goodbye
I am a little girl lost to the wind,
I am cotton in armour, a dangerous unity.
Bring me to my knees in valliance and greed...
Bring me to my subliminal need

Screams unheard echo my fortress,
Tears unseen mirror my dreams....
A single blade is all it takes in the end
To slice away pain and all it's friends.

A forever ago heartache was enticing;
An eon of oblivion and just.
Today breeds all i feared and it hurts-
A day where honesty is a fine dessert.

So bring me to my knees in valliance and greed
Show me tomorrow my subliminal need
One tick of the clock overbears the scales
A moment in time... a second to fail
Cloie. thankyou, just a footnote, the reason I asked for it to be rated is because it's my first attempt at a rhyming poem... I usually don't venture there!

O man! This reakky appeals to me!

Love the imagery"cotton in armour"etc.

This is heartfelt stuff.Still a wee bit rough rpund the edges,but don't let anything stop you.

I feel as you feel writing this.Or if you made up that emotion,even better.Well done Gal!I'd like to see you writing in other moods.

Read this on VD.It made it for me,so thanks!xx